guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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