I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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