Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
