i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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