I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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