i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
