It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
