Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
