Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
