There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
