so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
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My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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