You're completely useless in the revolution.
I puked a lego.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
