sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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