I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
