i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
