you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
