dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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