I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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