i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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