the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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