The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
as a side note pls kill me
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
