Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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