i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
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its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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