whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My balls are so social today.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
