yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
