this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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