He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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