I wish I only lived at night.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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