Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
