Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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