He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
