she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
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Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
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You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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