Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
