yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
