so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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