i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
