im drinking this country out of the recession.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
