the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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