Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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