i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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