woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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