So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You pole danced in your parka.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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