He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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