1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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