It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
