Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
