I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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