Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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