You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The struggles of a small town man whore
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
