i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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