problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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