I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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