He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
