I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
