He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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