Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
