Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
