Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
