Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
