Please, let me fuck your mom
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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