You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
this is an emotional support booty call
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
