Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
