I am midnight drunk by noon
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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