I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
