Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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