you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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