Moan for me like Helen Keller
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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