Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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