if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
