I should be sponsored by Trojan
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm really busy with my period
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