ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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