I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
