Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
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