Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
